Monday, March 26, 2012

Good Cop VS Bad Cop

This morning Heath called me to check on how my day was going with the two kids.  He was spraying at one of the paddocks up the road and wasn't going to be home for lunch or to be able to pop in.  I laughed that he called to 'checkup' on me....but maybe he had a premonition on how shit of a day it was really going to be.  Maybe he was secretly trying to warn and prepare me.....

It was bound to happen but the 'honeymoon period' with Big Sis is wearing off fast.  Boundaries are being pushed, tantrums are at an all-time high and tuning out to her Mummy's requests constantly is the new black.  I have spent the week at home to try and get her to adjust to our new life with William....and maybe today was the "Peaking Day" that they talk about and tomorrow will be rosey....

Today was the very first day that I actually followed through on a threat.  After 2 hours of fighting her daytime sleep (something that Macie needs and usually sleeps for upto 3 hours a day), she decided to throw her dummy at the wall.  I grabbed it and in the heat of the moment asked her "Do you want me to chop it off"....and my stubborn and spirited girl replied defiantly "YES".  So, I did. 

Worst Mum of the Day award?  You betcha.  To say that Macie was devastated is an understatement but after the tears were dried, she understood that she lost it because she was naughty.  Well she understood until it was bedtime and she just expected me to give her a new one. I can report that I stuck to my guns.  She just never expected me to actually do it.  I am the best at threatening to do things but never following through. 

But sometimes, I have to be the bad cop to be the good cop.  I am doing her no favours by teaching her that she can get away with having tantrums and being rude.  She will get nowhere with that attitude and she needs to learn that she is an Indian - and all adults in her life are the Chiefs - no matter who they are....but especially her parents. 

My mum always says to me "She is only a baby Han"....and yes, she is - but she is a spirited, strong-willed, determined and intelligent little girl that needs to be lovingly directed on the right path. 
Yes - the mummy guilt is seeping through my veins and making my heart heavy as I listen to her crying out for her dummy.  Yes - I am questioning every decision I made today.  Yes - I am considering just grabbing a goddamn dummy to make her happy again.  I hate my happy girl being sad.

But sometimes you have just gotta be the bad be the good cop in the end. 
And like I always say.....tomorrow is a BRAND NEW DAY! 

Anyone else been in this boat and want to give some advice from one mama to another?

1 comment:

  1. Yes I've totally been in the same boat and it does suck when you feel so bad for being the good cop but like you I think this is a good thing for my kids. My kids are 11yrs, 6yrs & 22months and I try to teach them the right way from the start as I am doing them no favors by letting them get away with bad behavior and then trying to reteach them later.

    My Mum does the exact same thing and it is like she has forgotten that she did it to me! At the time I think kids don't like it but I can tell you now I am so glad my parents expected good behaviour and taught me respect as it has made me the person I am today.

    If you are happy to stick to your guns then do it! Get your families support and I guess get use to the bad cop routine but also get ready for the good kid routine as well. We always been comments on how well our kids behave and how polite they are and I am proud of that.