The week of Learning...

I have learnt so many things this week.....

:  Macie is a seriously determined little girl who can declare an almighty Mexican Stand-Off - but she is also funny, loving and caring.  Ever since the "Dummy Episode" she has been a delight....with a few 'off' moments like yesterday but today is a new day. 

:  Sleep deprivation makes time fly at the speed of sound.  Surely five weeks haven't passed since Will came into our lives? 

:  As long as we have nappies - I don't care if we are running low on bread, milk and butter!  Oh the priorities!!

:  Things that work with the first child won't work with the second.  Self-Settling and Tizzy Hall will be the death of me.

:   Heath still loves me even after I throw my acid tongue at him at 2am in the morning.  He is a serious keeper.

:  I find colouring-in with Macie like therapy.  She usually throws the pens in and goes to play with something else and I will find myself still sitting there 20 minutes later still colouring in. 

:  My love for town is wearing thin....but then we go to the Park with our friends and I feel like I am rejuvenated with enough friendship and support to last another week. 

:  I am excited to be taking bookings for my photography....like seriously excited.  Newborns, Brothers, Families....you BEAUTY!

:  I love surprise visits....especially when they are from my Mum who doesn't care if my laundry basket is overflowing and the floor needs to be vacuumed. 

and most importantly,

:  that I am a Mum and it's ok to play the bad cop - because at the end of the day, when I tuck Macie into bed she cuddles me, kisses me and tells me how much she loves me. 

I have survived another week.  I am feeling stronger.  I am Woman.  Hear me ROAR!

Brand New Day

As predicted, today has been a brand new day.  Today has been rosey with a happy girl and a happy boy....and a husbo that came home for lunch.  My kinda day. 

I took the advice from all the beautiful, wise and experienced Mamas on my facebook page and declared this morning our special morning while Will slept.  We made Bunny Ears, we read books in bed, we cuddled, we sang and we spent some time in the garden (that is dying from my lack of attention on the greenies and more attention on our new little family!).

Results?  Fricken amazing.  The "D" word hasn't even been mentioned.  No attempt has been made to kidnap Will's dummy and hold it ransom and she even went down for a daysleep without screaming for it (as was the case last night).  I only have to count to TWO before she does what I ask and most importantly, she still loves me.

Being a Mum is a constant mind game as you question if you are doing the right thing, parenting correctly and leading your children on the right path for a happy and successful future.  It can be something as simple as whether or not to make a doctors appointment about a runny nose or cutting off the a lifeline such as a dummy.  It can make you cry to hear your children's misery, and can make you high-5 the air when you have a win and that gut instinct paid off. 

And as for this little guy.....he made my day by starting to give us little smiles....and something so small was so huge on a day like yesterday. 

Good Cop VS Bad Cop

This morning Heath called me to check on how my day was going with the two kids.  He was spraying at one of the paddocks up the road and wasn't going to be home for lunch or to be able to pop in.  I laughed that he called to 'checkup' on me....but maybe he had a premonition on how shit of a day it was really going to be.  Maybe he was secretly trying to warn and prepare me.....

It was bound to happen but the 'honeymoon period' with Big Sis is wearing off fast.  Boundaries are being pushed, tantrums are at an all-time high and tuning out to her Mummy's requests constantly is the new black.  I have spent the week at home to try and get her to adjust to our new life with William....and maybe today was the "Peaking Day" that they talk about and tomorrow will be rosey....

Today was the very first day that I actually followed through on a threat.  After 2 hours of fighting her daytime sleep (something that Macie needs and usually sleeps for upto 3 hours a day), she decided to throw her dummy at the wall.  I grabbed it and in the heat of the moment asked her "Do you want me to chop it off"....and my stubborn and spirited girl replied defiantly "YES".  So, I did. 

Worst Mum of the Day award?  You betcha.  To say that Macie was devastated is an understatement but after the tears were dried, she understood that she lost it because she was naughty.  Well she understood until it was bedtime and she just expected me to give her a new one. I can report that I stuck to my guns.  She just never expected me to actually do it.  I am the best at threatening to do things but never following through. 

But sometimes, I have to be the bad cop to be the good cop.  I am doing her no favours by teaching her that she can get away with having tantrums and being rude.  She will get nowhere with that attitude and she needs to learn that she is an Indian - and all adults in her life are the Chiefs - no matter who they are....but especially her parents. 

My mum always says to me "She is only a baby Han"....and yes, she is - but she is a spirited, strong-willed, determined and intelligent little girl that needs to be lovingly directed on the right path. 
Yes - the mummy guilt is seeping through my veins and making my heart heavy as I listen to her crying out for her dummy.  Yes - I am questioning every decision I made today.  Yes - I am considering just grabbing a goddamn dummy to make her happy again.  I hate my happy girl being sad.

But sometimes you have just gotta be the bad cop....to be the good cop in the end. 
And like I always say.....tomorrow is a BRAND NEW DAY! 

Anyone else been in this boat and want to give some advice from one mama to another?

{Photoshoot} Gorgeous Gorgeous Girls

Before Christmas, I had the pleasure of capturing the beauty of these gorgeous girls.  I have had to keep them under lock & key until canvas' were printed and given as gifts so I am so happy that I am able to share these gorgeous girls with you. 

There is nothing more rewarding to visit these gorgeous girls and see my photography on a big canvas on their wall!! 

Enjoy!

I am itching to get back behind the camera and slowly going to be taking bookings over the next few months as William settles into life at the cottage.  To make a booking for a photo shoot - please don't hestiate to contact me via e-mail at hannah@dallicottage.com.au.  X 

Cuddles and Kisses

I have declared that I need a few days at home with nowhere to go and nowhere to be (obviously Anna Bligh & Campbell Newman have other ideas) so that is what I am doing.  Getting out of the house for a morning in town is a challenge at the moment so I am raising the white flag for a few days and spending some much-needed time at home. 

It was inevitable after three weeks of getting away with anything, our Big Girl has decided to stomp all over the boundaries.  90% of the time she is beautiful, funny and cheeky - but the other 10% are needless to say, very interesting!  Now that life is settling down a fraction, it's time to search for her manners with some healthy boundaries and lots of special cuddles and kisses. 

Heath and I have been trying to make a conscience effort to spend lots of one-on-one time with our Big Girl.  Lots of playdough, colouring in, cooking, and obviously the usual adventures out on the farm with her Daddy.  Usually if she gets some intensive time with either of us during the day, then she is an angel....if not, watch out!

She still makes me laugh though....especially when she comes out looking like this when I ask her to grab a shirt for me....watch out Fashion Week!

thanks iPhone for capturing not only Macie - but my messy house too!

As for the Little Man, he seems to be settling into life at the Cottage with his crazy sister family and adjusting to the endless kisses and cuddles from us all, especially Macie.  It's quiet amusing that he cracks it when Macie goes to kiss him...such a boy thing to do!! 

He hates being swaddled, loves being bathed, is a gutso with the bottle (no wonder my supply couldn't keep up to him!) and I can't believe that a month will have passed on Sunday since he arrived. It doesn't matter that Heath & I pass out on the couch at 8pm each night from exhaustion - because it's all worth it....especially when they go and do this!!

Welcome to William

I have to thank each and every one of you who contacted me about my decision regarding breastfeeding Will.  I was completely blown away by the number of e-mails I received from beautiful women who felt that they could 'confide' in me as they feared what the public would say if they said how hard breastfeeding was.  It made me happy that I had created a 'safe place' for women to write and talk about their journey but then again, I felt sad that society has put so much pressure on these beautiful women to comply even though it may send them over the edge with depression, pain and loneliness.  Motherhood is the best job in the world - but it is also challenging and isolating.  So next time you decide to judge, think twice - because supporting other mums can go such a long way in their journey in motherhood and make them feel loved and heard. 

************************

Last weekend we packed up the kids in the car and headed away for the weekend to visit my family and introduce our darling baby Will to everyone.  It had been nearly 8 weeks since I had been home to see everyone and to say my feet were itching was an understatement.

To set the scene, my mum is a child of five - in an Irish family - and all the family of over 30 (except 4 of us) lives in town and meets regularly every week.  I have always described my family as a "Wanna-Be Greek Family" and when we had Macie in the private hospital in Toowoomba, it was nothing to have over 10 visitors in our room each visiting period!  The nurses thought we were nuts!! 

As usual, they all totally blew us away over the weekend. They were all dying to meet Will and a simple "Morning Tea" to welcome him to the family turned into a rather large affair with friends and family cuddling him and loving Macie like they saw us all the time. Family are amazing like that....no matter the distance or the time between visits - they love you unconditionally.



One of the most beautiful moments over the weekend was introducing Will to my beautiful Grandma "GG".  Will is Grandma's ninth great-grandchild and in my books, that is truly amazing.  Even more amazing was that my unsettled and unhappy boy just slept so contently in her arms - like every little grandchild has done.  They must know that cuddles with Grandma are so very special.

Life is amazing...

Life as a family of four is busy, rewarding, challenging and tiring.  I know I should be saying that I am organised and have everything totally under control....but you know me - I like to keep things real and wear my heart on my sleeve. 

Life is crazy - yet amazing here at the Cottage at the moment.....and nine times out of ten I have my beautiful Macie to thank for reminding me of this. 

Some days I feel like I am totally acing the whole "Mum of Two" bizzo....and then to mix it up, I have a shocker of a day and I find myself hugging Macie and silently shedding a few tears of exhaustion into the crease of her neck while she pats my back and tells me "It's OK Mummy".  She then grabs my hand and leads me to the couch for "Cuddles" and BAM....Life is back to amazing. 

The other day Macie came up to me and asked "Are you alright Mummy?  Your eyes are wet" and I sat on the floor and told her I was fine.  She pointed to my stomach and asked "Sore Belly Mummy?" and I said "No darling".  She then pointed to my boobs and said "Sore Boobies Mummy?" and I laughed and said "No darling - I just get sad when Willy is sad."  She then smiled at me and said "It's alright Mummy, Willy is happy now - he will be alright".....and she was right.  Everything will be OK and alright....and with the insight from my beautiful two year old....life was back to amazing again. 

Will is now three weeks old and we are starting to see the light at the end of the "unsettled and unhappy" phase.  Wind has been haunting his tiny little belly the past few weeks and we seem to be finally getting on top of that.  He loves to scream without warning and I find myself chanting "Please don't be reflux, Please don't be reflux" over and over in my mind until he falls asleep peacefully and sleeps for hours on end and my fears settle.  I find myself asking Macie "Were you like this?"....and she looks at me with a blank expression and says "Yep Mummy".  Then I laugh and life is back to amazing again. 

I have accepted the fact that no matter what I do, I am not made to breastfeed my children.  Macie was a bottle baby from 5 days and all during my pregnancy with Will, it was the only thing I wanted to do....but after three weeks of the constant worry about supply, medication, expressing, lots of tears and an unsettled baby - I decided stop.  Don't shoot me because I know all too well the benefits of breastfeeding and have beat myself up about it over the past few weeks.  I am just so lucky to have a very supportive husband and family to understand how hard it was to make my decision and then support me...because they know as well as I do that "Life IS all OK"

....and Life IS amazing.