Did anyone ever tell you this?

I love my kids.  I seriously do.  They are my life.  They are my air.  But they can successfully make me look like a crazed lunatic on a bad day.  And don't be fooled by Willsy - he is blossoming quickly into the "Silent Assassin"!! 

When I was pregnant with my children, I had advice literally thrown at me.  So much advice and yet no-one ever told me the crucial bits so I am taking the liberty to share them with you (they will make you laugh - well I hope they do): 

No-one ever told me:

-  that your child can and will successfully scream louder than you. 

-  that your child will announce on every third consequtive grocery shop, that they need a wee and they need it "NOW".  This will make you question whether to drop the trolley and run - or proceed to race around the shop and get the bare necessities while whispering "Don't Wee! - We are nearly there".  I usually prefer to do the latter. Usually the said child is clutching her crotch like it's going to fall off. 


- that regardless of if they have only had 2 minutes sleep in the car, they will firmly believe that that will be their adequate nap for the day.

-  that they will leave their "business" until they have a brand new nappy on.

-  they will declare that they are "NOT HUNGRY" when their dinner plate still has food on it but will then proceed to successfully demolish a tub of yoghurt or an ice-cream cone afterwards in record time.

- that they will have super sonic hearing. They will hear everything that they shouldn't hear - and will pretend to not hear what we ask them to do something.

- that clearly the person who declared the "Terrible Twos" had clearly not reached the "Threes" yet.

-  that they will find all items that they aren't allowed to touch and treat those items like Santas been....and then they will treat their toys like they are poison.

-  that you would become accustomed to the fact that one, sometimes two children will be fascinated by watching you wee. 

-  that regardless of the day you had with your darling children, you will sneak into their room and watch them sleep....and you will fall in love even more with them. 

-  that you will see so much of yourself in them that it makes you want to run to your parents and apologise profusely!!

and, that you will love them unconditionally FOREVER!!!!!