It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas.....

If I had to choose one of my happiest childhood memories - it is without fail, Christmas.  Each and every year. 

My parents used to create this magical, mystical and amazing Christmas for my sister and I every single year.  Everything we did was so happy, so fun and most importantly, memorable.

If there is anything I want to do as a parent - it is to create these same memories for my babies.  Obviously Willsy is a little young for all the hype but Macie is sooo excited.  We only have to see Santa in the catalogues and she goes all goo-goo!  It makes my heart warm and fuzzy to see her innocence in full force.

So, this year - I've decided to create what I always talk about.  I'm going to create MAGIC for my children each and every day of Advent.

Instead of just an Advent Calendar from the shops - we've created an Advent Calendar box. 

It will sit proudly in the house with a new activity, gift and note from Santa every single day for Macie and William.....and I've got a good 2 days to get organised before the 1st of December dawns on me.  I'm talking Christmas Craft, Gingerbread Houses, Paper Chains, Candy Cane Treasure Hunts, Santa Sightings.....and yes my husbo is rolling his eyes at me but then reassures me "The kids are so lucky to have you Han!". 

Not only will it create magic.  But it will also force me to step away from the hussle and bussle of life - and enjoy my darling children.

It's starting to feel a bit like Christmas here.....how about you? 

The end product.....a bit of mod podge and a few ripped up magazines and VOILA.  Lots & Lots of Fun. 

Three

Dear Macie

I can't quite believe that you are now three.  Where have those years gone?

It doesn't feel like three years ago, I held you in my arms for the first time and cried about how utterly beautiful you were.  You cry sounded like a snort and we laughed and marvelled over you and your beauty.  You were ours and I declared on that day that I would protect you until the end of my days. 

The past three years have been such an amazing ride.  You have taught me love that I didn't even know existed.  You have shown me a side of life that I didn't even know was there.  You have made me realise what life is really about and I can never thank you for that.  You have made your Daddy and I closer than we have ever been.  Our love has grown, strengthened and blossomed since you arrived three years ago. 

Every single hurdle that is placed in your way, you just take it with a grain of salt.  You don't even question why you have to wear your hearing aids and it has never ever worried you (except for when you are being cheeky at Daycare!).  For all your tests, you sit there unperturbed and make your audiologists laugh with your antics.  You are funny, vivacious and beautiful. 

Even when you split your eyebrow open, you were the one that reassured me that everything was going to be ok.  You wiped your tears away and you walked into the hospital confident that the doctor was going to fix you.  Only very few things scare you.  You put your trust in everyone and everything.  You get concerned when people are sad - even if you don't know them and they are just simply doing their shopping in Bi-Lo.  If something does scare you, you run to us for reassurance - and when we tell you that "It's going to be OK" - you find that smile and your sparkle and you go off confidently again.  You have taught me to be more like you.  To not be so afraid of the "What Ifs" and instead to jump in head first and see where it may take me.  To trust that my support network will be there to reassure me if things go pear-shaped.  How can such a little girl teach me such a huge life lesson?  You amaze me. 

You make me laugh every.single.day - and yes there are days where things aren't always rosey - but the majority rule out the minority. 

I love your whispy thin hair that goes into tiny little pigtails.  I love that you want me to do your hair and always go to the mirror to check out my handiwork and then tell me "It's beautiful Mummy".

I love that you grab my face for kisses when I am busy.  It's like you remind me to not sweat the small stuff.

I love that you are busy, fun and cheeky.  It is what life is all about.

I love that you want to talk to me.  That you want me to read you books for hours on end and that you snuggle into me when you are feeling tired.  That we can share moments where our favourite books take us on an adventure and we get consumed in another world.

I love those eyes that bore into my heart every single day. Those eyes that sparkle before the smile even reaches your mouth.

I love that you love with all of your heart.  That you are such a doting Big Sister that wants to teach Willsy all that life has to offer. 

I love your giggle - it comes from deep in your belly and screams I AM HAPPY!

I love that intricate little brain of yours that never stops wanting to learn.  I love that you say to me "Teach me a new song Mum" and that you are slowly learning the words to "Jeremiah was a Bullfrog" with me.

I can't wait for what the future holds with you.  As your mum, I know that you will be happy and successful in anything that you do - whatever that may be. 

Just never ever forget in the years to come when you are a grown up beautiful woman, that even though I may not be holding your hand....

I will always be holding your heart.....for the rest of my days. 

Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl. 

I love you to the Moon and Back....and always will.

xxx

Hi Han....

I find it hard to get my head around that people actually read this blog.  Recently, I have had an increasing number of people saying "Hi Han" to me as I walk down the street. 

The scene usually goes something like this:

: Stranger says "Hi Han"  or  "Hi Macie"  or  "Oh look at Will - isn't he getting big!"
: I do my usual "Smile & Wave" trick and turn to Heath and say "Who was that?"
: Heath replies "How the hell would I know....remember you have a blog Han?"
: Then there is a silence where I scan through my memory to try and work out who is saying hello to me!
: Then I go "Pfft - no one reads it anyway" and go on trying to wrangle two kids and do my list of jobs. 

But lately, I can't seem to ignore the increasing number of "Hellos" by all these beautiful people.  I love it because there is nothing more refreshing than walking down the street to be greeted with friendly faces and happy hellos.  It's humbling and surreal.

So, thank you for being so friendly. 
Thank you for being so nice. 
But mostly, thank you for reading my blog. 
You are all amazing - whether I know you or not. 

X 

I have everything.

I opened my eyes to find Heath standing at the end of my bed looking a tad worse for wear.  He had been on the dog shift with William since 5am when he took over from me and told me to go back to bed.  I rolled over, looked at my phone, saw the time was only 7.01am and groaned.  "Surely on Mother's Day I can have a sleep-in" I said with a tone laced with a combination of sleep deprevation and annoyance....and the reply "7am is a sleep-in these days" and it's so true.  So I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and went to cuddle my babies on the couch.  I found Macie in her highchair eating her much loved honey toast and William happily in his swing watching the happenings of the cottage. 

For some reason I was acting like a bear with a sore head.  I don't know what I expected when I walked out of the bedroom.  It's not like I wanted a room full of flowers or a helicopter in the front paddock to whisk Heath & I away for the day (ok maybe I wanted the helicopter)....all I wanted was a sleep-in longer than 7.01am.  I cursed myself for being ungrateful - I don't need anything.  I have everything. 

Next thing Heath and Macie disappear and come back armed with chocolates, cuddles, flowers and a card.  I swallow my bad mood, curse myself again for being a bitch and just realised how grateful I am. 

: A husbo that organises his mum to drive to town to purchase a Mothers Day gift for me even though he has been working 15 hour days on the tractor. 
: A husbo that hides the gifts down at his mum's so I second-guess his romantic gestures
: A husbo that then proceeds to cook me bacon and eggs for breakfast with steaming hot coffee
: A daughter that loves me; and
: A son that declares that I am his world every time I leave his line of vision. 

I have everything.

Perspective....

As I write this, one of my beautiful kind-hearted friends is mourning the loss of her mum after a cruel and debilitating fight with cancer.  Another one of my equally beautiful friends is fearing the end is near for her family member. 

Thinking of them, makes me reflect on my weekend.  The weekend that I declared yesterday to be the "Worst Ever in History" after a visit to the emergency department with Macie and lots of tears - mostly mine. 

I work hard to focus on the beauty of life - the happiness and the small things that make me smile and give me joy.  I work hard to ensure I am happy, thankful and grateful for everything - always believing that there is a lesson to be learnt.  I have to admit though - when I drop my marbels - the floodgates open and I usually end up regretting not going to bed and throwing the doona over my head for the day.  That is how I felt yesterday. 

We were in Toowoomba visiting my family to celebrate my beautiful Grandma's 81st birthday.  We started the day wrangling our extremely determined Macie's refusal to wear her hearing aids and then spent the afternoon in the Emergency Department after she fell and hit her head onto concrete - creating the world's biggest egg on her forehead.  Thankfully she is perfectly fine and is now sporting a beautiful bruise that will no doubt turn many colours before disappearing.  In true Macie style - she was more worried about the graze on her knee than her sore head that her mummy was freaking out about! 

The tears (from me) started upon her first refusal to wear her hearing aids....and finished at 7.30pm last night as I rang my nearest and dearest to apologise for being such a jerk all day.  I wanted to blame pregnancy hormones - but really had to admit that I just dropped the balls that I so carefully balance and juggle each and every day. 

This morning, I received the sad news that we were all dreading to hear about my poor friends and their families. It made me put it into perspective.  My issues yesterday were nothing out of the norm and not one thing that happened yesterday was even worthy of being declared the "Worst Day Ever" - even if I did drop those juggling balls. 

Last night, as I watched the sun set with a freshly bathed Macie in my arms, I reminded myself of the "Rollercoaster of Life".  The kind I have spoken about before.... "How it has you believing that you are cruising along just fine and then WHOOSH - down you go with your stomach in your mouth - all while screaming "GET ME THE HELL OFF THIS THING" and coming in for a soft and safe landing. It's like a metaphoric kick in the ass to make you stop and slow down....to take the time for yourself and your family...and to take a step back from your life and take a peek through the windows of your life....and wonder what lessons are to be learnt...lessons that haven't been learnt before."

And yesterday's lesson for today?? Was to be thankful for everything.....because you never ever know what may happen tomorrow. 

The Nap Time Bandit

Nap times in the Dalli Cottage are becoming increasingly frustrating for me - and highly entertaining for a certain toddler who resides here (I wont name any names except call her the Nap Time Bandit).  You see, I have our laptop set up on our dining table adjacent to the said toddler's room so I can sit and observe the little one's antics and prevent her from getting out of bed and playing with her toys.  Thanks to this little Bandit - I am now addicted to Pinterest due to waiting it out until she goes to sleep....yep that's right - I am blaming a nearly-two year old for my addiction.  Bad mum right??

She is cheeky - she will cunningly place one leg outside the bed and wait for a reaction from me.....if nothing, she will then place her other leg over, ever so slowly as to not grab my attention and then act like a statue.  If no further reaction she makes a run for it.....which usually results into me finally realising and the rest I will leave up to your imagination. 

She will lie with her bum against the wall and her feet in the air and drum out a song with her heels, she will climb on her bedhead, she will play peek-a-boo with her pillow and she will bang her teddy (Elmo) hard eyes against the wall....all while waiting for me to relent, declare my patience shot and label it a "No Sleep Day" - because I have done that once in her 23 months of life....and clearly she has never forgotten it!!

The last few days has been a contest of the fittest, strongest and most patient.....who is willing to wait it out the longest to watch the little one's limbs stop moving and to hear the songs and chatter cease.  Once asleep - she will sleep for 2 hours of deep, beautiful sleep to re-energise those busy little feet and mind. 

Perhaps I am holding onto these daytime naps like I am holding onto the little bit of baby she has left.  Maybe she is trying to tell me "I'M NOT TIRED MUM".....but then the 2 hour snooze doesn't really back up her declaration does it?

God Bless her little Bandit cotton socks.....and please god, let these daytime naps last a tad longer.....it's not too much to ask is it??  Really??

Now that Macie is dancing on the "Nearly Two" line - we are getting some whopper words and one-liners from her.  Some make us laugh, some make us gasp and others just make our chests puff out with pride.  Yep - that's right folks....she's all ours...the giggles, the temper and the mouth!!

The best over the past few weeks are...

"Hi, How are you going?" when she picks up the phone....exactly like me!

Reciting the word "Strategic" over and over after hearing me cursing myself for not being more "Strategic with where I place my keys".  What the?

The constant question of "Whats That?"

If you ask her to do something that she doesn't want to - she will reply with "NO WAY" without hesitation.  If it is something she really doesn't want to do - she will say it over and over again until she thinks we have got her point!

Heath has taught her to say "HURRRRY UP MUUUUM" whenever I am putting on my makeup.

I have taught her to say to Heath..."COME ON DAD - WE HAVEN"T GOT ALL DAY!" when we are waiting for him on the Tractor.  She is still working on perfecting this....but Daddy gets the point!

Instead of saying Kangaroo....everything is "ROO".

If we come across a Dam....she goes "Snap Snap" because Crocodiles live in water especially on farms....did you know that? ;)

She gets right down to eye level with Milly the Puppy and says in a really high-pitched squeal "Pup, Pup, Pup" all while patting her knees.  Some days Milly responds....other days she sits and pretends she never heard a thing.  Perhaps our dog is smarter than we think?

If she hears anyone crying or upset, she will become very concerned and say "She/He's Sad".

Any baby she comes across whether real, a doll, a picture on a Nappy Pack or a baby on TV is called "Archie" after her new baby cousin.  Archie is a busy boy! 

"Sorry Mummy" when she realises she has overstepped the line or after some time-out. 

The list is endless...and I am going to make a conscience effort to journal and remember these magical and hilarious times!

Times like when I find her in the dryer....and instead of getting narky at her....I laughed.  What the hell - it was funny and she wasn't in danger.  Plus - wouldn't this smile make you laugh too??

Children are the reason why people all over the world are smiling....they are innocently the very source of happiness and I am so glad that I have my very own dose daily. 

Dear Macie

Dear Macie

I am thankful every day to be your Mum.  To be able to comfort you, to play with you, to guide you and to love you.   You make me laugh and cry and scream and smile....but I can't imagine life without you.  I miss you even if I am gone for a few hours.....and I love that you are becoming cuddly in your 'old' age.   

Thank you for making me laugh and smile every day - no matter if the sun is shining - you are always bright, fun and bold.  Even if your cheekiness borders on naughtiness....I still love you - and I always will. 

I love that you can make even the toughest man crumble under your charm.  That they will hold your hand and follow your "Lets Go" command....and then they will sit with you to draw pictures and read you books.  You have no fear....and that little twinkle in your eye lets me know that the world will be your oyster one day. 

I love that you love to sing - and you now sing Twinkle Twinkle over and over again with the utmost precision.  I love that you are independent (admittedly I do find it tiring some days) and that you know what you want...that is a gene you inherited from your Mama.  Use it wisely. 

You are beautiful, colourful, spirited and strong.  You are loving, cuddly and smiley. 

You are mine.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you....for blessing my life every day.  For teaching me to be patient, to be confident as a Mum and to love unconditionally.   

Love Always
Your Muuuuuuuuuuuummmmm 

PS  This little letter was inspired from going though my iPhone photos......seriously Macie - you have enough personality to feed 100 adults.  Never.ever.change - no matter what anyone says. 

PPS  Yes, you saw right - Macie has created a lovely outfit of Pull-Up Nappy Leg Warmers....attractive right? 

If the shoe fits....

They say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree....and Miss Moo's latest fascination with shoes just proves the theory.  It doesn't matter if it's a pair of thongs, sky-high wedges or Daddy's boots....if the shoe fits (well not really), she will be walking around in them.  If she can't work out how to get them on, then she comes over to me - grabs my hand and patiently walks me over to the shoes.  It's then that I find myself smiling....she may look like her Daddy but she shares her Mummy's passion.....for shoes. 

When I say that shoes are my passion...I am telling you that I realllllly love shoes.  I dream of having a walk-in wardrobe.  One portion for clothes.....the rest for shoes.  High heels, wedges, pumps, boots, sandals.....every colour of the rainbow....and of course, the belts and handbags to match.  My theory is all you need is a great pain of jeans and a fantastic pair of shoes....and you.are.set! 

Since becoming a Mummy I have happily hung up the heels and opted for the practical and reliable.  No longer having the indispensable bank account - the kind where shoes were more important than food - I now happily wear my trusty footwear.  It's only for the good occasions that I pull out the beauties and feel like a superstar!

Don't get me wrong....on more occasions than one you will find me in front of my shoe collection - in my PJs - trying on my shoes. You may also find me wearing a pair of sky-high black peep-toes while taking photos of my products.....it gives me the extra height and my little shoe-fix.

I see it as the fair trade....shoes for family....and a dog that has a little fetish too. 

It's just like how we have traded long late nights drinking at the pub for early nights with Macie all tucked in bed as we snuggle the night away on the couch watching Crocodile Dundee re-runs. 

Or spending our Saturday mornings in Toy Shops dreaming of all the toys we could buy Moo - instead of shopping up a storm of clothes, shoes and all the rest of it.  Kids and puppies are all we need...

Or quickly scoffing down our lunch while at a resturant once we realise that our darling daughter has turned into the Incredible "Smiling" Hulk....I suppose that happens when you give her a green felt pen and colouring-in book and go about to eat your lunch.....next thing you know she has coloured in her face and it aint coming off with a standard baby wipe.  Classy. 

Or that your biggest meeting of the week is infact a Playdate at the Park with your beautiful friends...instead of high-pressured meeting with a high-flying client with a kazillion-dollars to his name.  Playdates are the event of my week....I would jump rivers and climb moutains to see Miss Moo play with her friends and hear their giggles.  Best.Sound.Ever. 

Give me sneakers, haviannas or scruffy RM boots any day over sky-high heels and stinky pubs.....if it means that I have the honourary job of raising my beautiful girl and being her Mama.  If it means that I may wear the deadly combination of joggers and jeans on more than one occasion....all to hear her get excited about Bananas in Pyjamas coming on television.......but I wouldn't change it for the world.

If the shoe fits....then wear it....treasure it....savour it....love it....smell it....and memorise it. 

Because, before long, this darling little girl will be wearing her own sky-high heels, attending her own high-profile meetings and experiencing her own fair share of stinky pubs.....

but for now....she's all mine.  X